Jude was born on Wednesday August 13, 2014 at 12:54pm.
Labor and delivery was nuts. I know people have a variety of opinions and such about birth, but honestly, I don’t think I would trade the experience I had for anything. My care team worked with me and we tried everything possible to avoid having a c-section, but it didn’t work out that way. We went into the hospital on Sunday, my 42nd week of pregnancy, and began the process of being induced. I spent all of Monday and part of Tuesday in labor with no medication. I was growing a bit weary by Tuesday afternoon and asked for an epidural, thinking I had progressed enough for it not to stall things out completely. But after being checked on Tuesday evening and then Wednesday morning and still only being 7cm, we were running out of options. And trust me, we tried everything to get labor to progress over the course of those three days. I did everything from laying down with my belly in plastic inner tubes. I spent a lot of time on a birth ball. I walked. I sat completely upright with my hospital bed folded up into a chair.
At some point though, I started running a fever over Tuesday night. Wednesday morning, as we attempted again to get things moving, I asked Jason to pray with me again, knowing that we would need to make a decision about a c-section soon. Around 11, I decided it was time. I think I let myself cry for about 15 minutes and feel what I needed to feel, a mixture of feeling like a failure or that others may judge me for the decisions I had made thus far. And honestly, that’s all I needed was that 15 minutes. When they turned the Pitocin off, it was like my whole body had stopped being involved in the process.
The c-section prep and procedure were completely uneventful. Everyone in the room was incredibly nice to me and encouraging. Everyone in the room knew this was the last thing I had wanted. At the end of it all though, Jude was born. That’s what matters. I hadn’t really thought much about what I would feel as soon as he was born. Jason was sitting by my head in the OR holding my hand when he was born and we both just burst into tears as soon as we heard in him cry. I still cry when I look at him sometimes.
After he was born, I was able to see him really quickly before they went to look at him and make sure he was okay. Because I had run a fever, there was a concern that I may have passed an infection along to him. Jason went to be with him while I was being sewn back up. Despite the medication and such that I had for the surgery, Jude was very alert when he was born. I was able to hold him on my chest when we were wheeled back to our room. From there, the nurse I had helped me to try to begin nursing before Jason went with him to get bathed.
Fast forward to home… Jude is such a good baby. He cries when he needs to eat or be changed, but otherwise he is super content. In the morning and early evening, he usually has a long span of time where is awake and alert and so we “play” – doing about a minute of tummy time and laying under the play gym. We make faces and talk to him. I had my fair share of moments of fear about being a mom, and I know that it will be even more challenging as time goes on, but I am so in love with my little boy. It’s like nothing I have ever felt before.
Recovery is going well. The first few days were surprisingly not bad, but I think I pushed it too much and spent most of yesterday in bed, other than feeding the baby and taking a shower. Jason’s mom is here until next week, which has been a huge help. I’m not really able to lift anything other than the baby and leaning over still hurts some. It will get better though. Tomorrow we venture out for a doctor’s appointment, which will be the first time I have been out of the house since we brought the baby home. We have received a lot of help from others too, which we are really grateful for. We have had meals brought to our home and others that have sent texts or made phone calls to check in… thank you so much for loving our family!